Last few months were for me like a roller coaster. I felt like I've achieved something and then again all fell apart. It was the first time I didn't reached my goals, first time I felt helpless in many years. And looking back now I realize I was pretty naive to trust wrong people, respected people. I probably could have done things differently. But would the result be the same? I don't know. Maybe.
Some of you probably already know I am not attending college this year due to registration complications. And even though I don't want to accept that I hate the situation I'm in, I can't deny my feelings anymore. Even in my subconscious I feel trapped, dreaming I'm going to faint in room without exit. I couldn't accept circumstances. But I have to now. What shocks me the most is I was numb, I couldn't express all the emotions when everybody around me were either freaking out or were angry about situation. It was like I was dreaming, like it didn't happen to me. But it did.
Truth be told I am a dreamer, I make plans in advance and although people tell me I shouldn't do that, I believe everything can happen If I only try. They don't want to see me disappointed but I guess this needed to happen. I'm still going to live with my head up in the clouds. The only difference will be that accepting reality won't be so hard. I tried, I fought and didn't quit and this is what it's life about. You learn that one bump on the road to the happiness doesn't destroy your whole world. It just makes you stronger.
My road doesn't stop here. Here it begins. The first step is to set my priorities straight, what I want from my life. Secondly I need to stick by my plans and believe in myself. And thirdly not allow other people to divert me from my dreams. Their judgements are not relevant to me. A lot of times when I feel discouraged and need some uplift I turn to the upper quote. And I again see clearly my goal. I am, we are young and capable to follow our dreams, to fight for our lives. We are the change. We just need to choose our path. I did.