On My Path to the Freedom

I deliberated for a while if I should post this but in the end I realized it'll be kind of liberating. For so much time I wanted to express this feelings in a song and somehow I couldn't do it, until a couple of days ago while listening to a power pop song sang by Ellie Goulding called Burn. It just opened out to me and even though for a lot of you this song / poetry (whatever you want to call it) probably won't make sense, it's very personal for me. With its flaws and topics it shows how I felt and probably still feel, my dark moments and thoughts. It's not intended for anyone neither is written to impose any negative feelings...it's merely my expression of long awaited emotions building inside me during the years. Some of you'll get it and some probably won't but all I want for you is to read song with its purpose in mind...thus being clearing myself of any negative emotions and thoughts and letting past behind. So without further ado here's the song:

ON MY PATH

Brought into the world

looking through children eyes,

I thought world was a happy place.

Not for long!

All the mistakes my family made,

all the traps I got in,

my childhood changed.

People who I trusted the most

took everything I got.

Fear, sadness occupied my heart,

dreams shattered around,

wishing all this would be behind.

Now you started the second round.

Underestimating my mind,

my dreams, my life,

making me feel I don't belong,

subtly telling me who should I be,

expectations I didn't meet.

Love should be unconditional

but all I feel are limitations,

not really giving me a hope

that you'll accept me as I am.

Still looking in your eyes

I try to make you feel proud.

Why, why, why,

am I doing that to myself?

Where were you

when I needed you the most.

Ruining my family memories,

you betrayed me, your blood.

Calling me names,

burning my life

with hate I didn't deserve.

How would you feel

If I would've told

all the lies, secrets I heard

that you and your family has made

looking down at us,

because of your damn pride.

Look what you made me like!

All the bitterness and hate I have

are like fire waiting to explode,

wanting to get out,

not feeling trapped.

I may have forgotten

your mistakes, your insults,

but I'll never forgive

the cuts and wounds,

the stabs you gave,

ruins I had to rebuild.

For you it's a past.

For me a reality check,

that love, trust and respect

is something to be given

to those who you believe in.

Not granted or deserved

just because you're a kin.

I'll always stay true to myself,

no matter what obstacles world will give me.

You either accept me or you leave!

I don't have time for those waiting around,

taking my love, my life for granted,

not believing in me, hearing me out.

I am on my path

to the story of my life.

Stay with me on it

or be left out.